Sunday, April 09, 2006
Chapter 19: Expecting honesty and approval, pt 5
“Come walk with Me now.” Leaving the bonds where they lay, He guides me to the edge of the mote surrounding the castle. We sit at the edge, admiring the koi. “I want you to see something.” He point into the distance. On a far hil I see a city with four clear spires. It is the city He pointed out to me before. “We will be going there soon.” He tells me, “All this renovation has had a purpose. You will rescue my people from that place and bring them here to be restored.”
I do not know what to say, only “Yes, Papa,” seems right. He tells me no more of it and I sense questions are not right for now. We sit there quietly for a long time.
Finally He turns to me and asks,” Do you know that I love you?”
I ponder the question for a moment, then I know-not the answer of my habit, but out of faith and expectation. “Yes, papa, I do!”
His sudden smile is like the sun breaking through clouds, lighting everything around in His joy. I am surprised when He reaches into the water to playfully splash me and more surprised to find myself in the water a moment later! He is laughing and I cannot help by laugh as well. In a moment He joins me among the fish and we splash and play there. The water is so clear and I find it is deep as well. My foot slips and I fall under only to discover much greater depth to this water full of life than I had ever known. The joy of the moment is beyond description as we just play there a while.
Finally He signals me to follow as He swims up to the pool which feed this place from the waterfall. Once at the pool, we just float, resting for a few moments in that refreshing place. After a short time, we leave the water to sit on the bank.
He does not speak immediately, but waits a few moments before He begins, “You know I love you, but do you know that I like you?”
I look at Him puzzled.
“I choose to call you my friend,” He explains.
I have no words to express what I feel. I take His hand and press it to my cheek-how I love His hands! I am surprised when He takes my hand and presses it to His face as well. It still overwhelms me that He would love me so much and want me to be with Him.
After a few moments, we rise, returning back to the dwindling pile of flowers. I lay down the tea rose and look at all the old and new expectations lying before me.
“Review your new expectations,” He directs.
I touch the feather, rejection replaced by acceptance’ the coins, disappointment replaced by abundance; the garnet drop, pain replaced by love; the tea rose, perfection replaced by honesty. I pause at the ring, condemnation replaced by—as I suddenly see!—more than approval, this is sonship! Not jut approved, but adopted!
I sit back on my heels, stunned! To be placed as a mature son, set to represent the Father and do His business! I cannot understand. “These changes…” I stammer trying to ask.
“They are real,” He assures, taking me back to read the journal of the first few days. On reading, I am struck by my cry of revelation: It is my sin and mine alone—more of a confession that revelation.
“That moment of repentance has been key in all that has followed.” He explains. “When you saw all of it was in your own heart, then we could change your heart. Well done my son.”
Over and over the words echo in my ears, with the chimes of grace: Well done, well done. My heart is full. I am ready to face what remains.