Finally, He speaks once again. “I want to share something with you, to take you somewhere with Me. Your flesh is afraid to go because it will have to change. Will you come?”
The decision takes but a moment. “I will.” I stand before Him and He reaches out to take my hand in His. “Yes, I will go with You.” I repeat, taking His outstretched hand.
Firmly He grips my hand. The touch of His hand draws up so many feelings in me. His hands are so large and powerful that they could crush me in a heartbeat, yet His gentleness is amazing.
“Come with Me,” He instructs, rising from His chair.
My feet are hesitant and slow to move. Gently He encourages me, but does not force me to follow. Once again I do not understand my own reaction.
We leave the study, cross through the large tiled foyer, the sound of our footsteps echo loudly through the hall. I want to ask where we are going, but feel I should not. He says nothing. We continue to the staircase, but do not go up, rather we walk along the right side, to find a door in the side of the staircase. I do knot know what is behind the door. Still silent, he grasps the doorknob; it is slow to turn. Finally it does and the door complains and He opens it. I cannot see what is behind the door, the darkness there seems impenetrable. I look to Him, but still He says nothing.
“What is this, Papa?” I finally ask, having not ideas of what to expect. I can only guess that this is a storage closet, a utility room perhaps?
Still no answer. He ducks His head to step though the doorway. I am hesitant to follow, but He is still holding my hand and draws me to follow Him. I know I could pull away, but I step into the darken doorway. The room is deeply dark and I am afraid.
I cling to His hand as He turns to the right and takes a few steps. My grasp on his hand tightens even more, I fear letting go, lest I become lost in this dark place. And I still do not know where we are!
“Why do you need to know?” He finally answers in a voice so soft I almost miss it.
The words that tumble forth surprise me. “I guess I don’t, since I am with You.”
“Then come and follow.” I hear His slow foot steps as he starts to slowly walk again. I focus on keeping hold of His hand. “Focus on Me, do not become distracted or lost in this place.”
“Listen to My voice, not to anything else you might hear. Follow Me now.”
I can feel the space has become smaller than it was. Soon we will have to crawl to get through it. “Where does this lead?” I murmur.
“To where we are going.” He replies. I know there must be a reason for His indirectness, but cannot fathom what it might be.
Soon the ceiling angles sharply down and it is not possible to walk upright any longer. If we have to crawl, I will not be able to hold his hand any longer. “Papa! It is so dark! I cannot see You. I can’t hold Your hand!. I’m afraid of being separated from You.”
“Come then.” I feel His arm on my shoulder, guiding me to slid past Him and stand in front of Him. He helps me down to my knees to crawl, but then He kneels above me to crawl Himself. He surrounds me with His presence as we crawl through the small tunnel. I will not become lost!
We seem to crawl for a long time. I cannot tell what is around us, all I can feel is His presence. My knees, hands, wrists and elbows begin to hurt from the rough ground we are crossing.
“We are almost there.” He whispers encouragingly in my ear. I had thought I could go no further, but somehow His encouragement makes me able to go on.
The air here is hot and stuffy now. I fight back a rising panic. The heat, the darkness and the sense of being utterly lost is feeding a deep fear in me. Finally, He stops.