Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Chapter 18: Expectations, pt 5

He releases me from His arms, only to turn me to face Him. “It is time for you to enlarge your expectations. The old vase can no longer contain your expectation. Smash the old container, I will give you a new one.”

Regaining my feet, I step to the stone upon which the vase sits with the remaining roses. I still have the stone in my hand. Before I can think it all out, I touch the vase with the stone and the vase explodes, throwing me once again into His waiting arms.

He is there to catch me, to hold me, give me His strength. My mind is reeling from all that has happened. “How Papa?” I stammer, hoping He understands what I mean.

His firm embrace reassures me. “You must move these things now from your head to your heart. To do this, you must act on them I faith and as you see how I work in it, your heart will come to know.”

“Yes, Papa.” I whisper, pressing into His arms, not wanting to leave His grasp.

But distraction comes. Something happens to hurt my son and I am grieved. Even so, I do not want to lose what His is doing with me. “Papa, can we continue?”

“No, child. Not now. The next step cannot be taken while you are grieving. The next step will require corrections that you will not be able to accept without giving into your old ways. You would be injured, not healed. Wait until the hurt has passed, then we will continue. Stay here in my embrace while the hurt heals and the grief subsides.”

I see His wisdom and do not argue. I rest in His arms as I walk through the process of forgiveness and releasing the hurts. And through this I see too a new understanding of His loving care and concern. I am struck by His insistence on waiting on my pain, making sure that there would be no injury to me, in spite of the pain that would be necessary. I truly see that I do matter to Him, my hurts, my feelings are important to Him. Never have I understood this before. I can not think of anything else that would have shown me so clearly as this. “Thank you, Papa, thank you.” I whisper.

Chapter 19-->

1 comment:

Bill Dotson said...

I enjoyed your post today. I have been listening to a series of messages on the love of the Father and this fit right in. Keep up with your pursuit.